Are You The Smartest Person In the Room?

Fundamental of Life: Never Be The Smartest Person In The Room

Like most people, I have been in many rooms throughout my life. Whether professionally or socially, being mixed with groups of people is a way of life. In whatever setting I am in, I want to be around people who can improve me. I want to surround myself with intelligent people. I never want to be the smartest person in the room. I joke and say that has never been a problem for me. I joke about it, but it's the truth. Being the smartest dumbass is of no interest to me. If someone doesn't make you better, they make you worse.

I'm sure you know people who must be the smartest in the room. They want to feel superior to everyone else. If you are that person, stop! Put your ego in check, and stop it right now! Why is it necessary? Why do we need to feel superior to anyone? When we do that, we become closed-minded, and we stop growing. Also, when your focus is showing how smart you are, you stop listening. You become too worried about "one-upping" everyone and stop listening. Inadvertently, you make yourself look foolish. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you make yourself look foolish to others.

I always say that if you are the most intelligent person in the room, change rooms. Meaning we should strive to be around people who make us better. People who we can learn from. But, honestly, we don't need to change rooms. I do not believe that we are ever the smartest in any room. We can learn something from everyone. Being the most intelligent person in the room is a mindset--a mindset that is controlled by your ego. We grow when we suppress our egos and realize that everyone has something to offer us.

I once read that everyone past five knows at least one thing you do not know. Think about that for a second; they really do! Everyone that you come into contact with has some piece of knowledge that you do not possess. Therefore, is anyone ever the most intelligent person in the room? Adopting this mindset alone will allow you to learn from others and grow. 

People notice when you respect them and seek their knowledge. This was the most helpful as a leader and father (which is the same thing you are leading your family). Many leaders think they must be the smartest person in the room. They are in charge, so they are expected to be right? No, they are not. A leader is expected to gather information and make a solid decision. Most of the time, that information comes from subordinates. Some leaders think that they look weak or incompetent if their subordinate knows more than they do about a topic. It's the opposite; they look like a strong, humble leader who respects the knowledge of those in your charge. They will gain respect and look like an intelligent person who is smart enough to listen to people who know more than them.

Being a parent is no different. As parents, we often complain that our kids won't talk to us. We even go as far as begging sometimes, and they still won't. Maybe it's us. It could be because we feel we have to be superior and can't let them know they know something we don't. Let's be honest: in today's times, our kids know many things we don't. The technology era has put information at their fingertips. Showing them respect and listening to their points of view can go a long way in your relationship with them and their willingness to talk to you.

I found that out this past year. I have been involved in politics for a very long time. I have volunteered and served on numerous campaign committees. Both of my kids know this and have been involved with me. They have also seen people seek my advice on political strategy. This past year, my daughter, who is in college, interned with one of the nation's most reputable political consulting agencies. I was even fortunate enough to work with her on a campaign. She has a great mentor, but her dedication and passion to soak up every bit of knowledge possible put her ahead of the curve. She impressed a lot of people, including me. One weekend, we started talking about politics when she was home for a visit. Well, she spoke, and I listened. If you knew my daughter, you would know how odd that is. She found something she was passionate about and liked talking about. She also knows that I love talking about that topic as well. But listening and asking her advice made her want to talk more about it. Now, it is weekly, sometimes daily conversation. It has taken our relationship to another level.

I do realize that I took this topic in several directions. I also realize that I was somewhat contradictory. I began with if you are the smartest person in the room, change rooms. I then said that you are never the smartest person in the room. So which one is it? Well, it's both. First, surround yourself with intelligent people who have something to offer, then listen to them. Regarding the parent/child issue, provide them with every learning opportunity, then listen to them. 

The world does not give a f..k how smart you act or think you are. They care about what you contribute. They also want to be around people who make them better. Arrogant know-it-alls do not make anyone better, especially themselves.