Fundamental Of Life: Worry About Your Character, Not Your Image

In early 2019, my wife and I started attending a new church. Through work, I had gotten involved in their homeless ministry, so I became acquainted with the staff and Pastor. We decided to visit one Sunday. After our first visit, we were hooked. Before this, my wife was a faithful churchgoer, but I wasn't. I hadn't found one that I would walk out the door afterward and just felt good. I wasn't one to go just because you're supposed to. It was an unconventional church with an unconventional Pastor. It was perfect for me because I'm a pretty unconventional guy. We didn't miss a Sunday until Covid-19 in mid-2020.

A few months after we started attending, he hit me right between the eyes with his message. His message was about character. About midway through his sermon, he made a statement that changed my life: "Work on your character, not your image." He went on to say that with social media, we get too caught up in our image and how people view us. Meanwhile, we ignore our character, our actual being.

I left there that day and looked at myself in the mirror hard. I felt like I had a pretty good image at the time. But, I was questioning if my character matched it. I was a good father and a decent husband, and if you were my friend, then there was very little I wouldn't do for you. I often practiced random acts of kindness. I was a giver, not a taker. But I still questioned myself. From that day forward, I tried to make sure that my character was a priority, and I would let my image fall into place.

A few years ago, a video went viral; it received millions of views. It was filmed in a classroom at a high school. The video started with two young men walking into the classroom. They were carrying a shoe box. They walked toward another young man. They handed him the box, a brand-new pair of tennis shoes. This young man had some old shoes and could use a new pair. I'm assuming he was poor and underprivileged. It was a nice gesture by those who coordinated it, but I had issues with several things.

The beginning of the video was focused on the two young men walking in with the shoes. They knew they were being filmed. They were staring at the cameras and smiling big. When they reached the other kid, one stayed looking at the camera. It was very obvious to me what was going on. It bothered me. What bothered me more were the adults that were promoting this. They hailed the two "givers" as heroes. I didn't see it this way, and it angered me.

First, why was it done as a ceremony in front of dozens of people? Most importantly, why was it filmed and put on social media? This should have been done in private, without a total production. It definitely should not have involved cameras. Better yet, why not leave the shoes in his locker with a small note, without a signature? It received millions of views and thousands of positive comments. Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I saw it entirely differently. I didn't see one positive thing about it. Our actions speak louder than words. I heard this, "Hey, you broke ass piece of trash. We are trying to make ourselves feel superior and better about ourselves, so we bought your broke ass a pair of $50 shoes." It also said it's about my image and not my character.

We all have that fantasy of winning the lottery. We think about things we would do with the millions of dollars. My dream starts with all the people I could help. Helping people without them ever knowing who helped. I fantasize about the amount of random acts of kindness I could do. I am not perfect; I have plenty of character flaws. But putting my image before my character will never be one of them. I have total self-awareness of all my weaknesses. Building and maintaining strong character is essential to me. When we exhibit strong character, our image will fall into place.

Challenge yourself to this: work hard to be the person you pretend to be on social media. We don't put our immoral, unethical, or illegal acts on social media. We don't say how rude we were to the waiter at the restaurant because we know we can be. We don't put how we half-assed our work and got a free check close your eyes and imagine if that was reality. Imagine if the world was full of these kinds of people. It would be pretty cool, wouldn't it?

The world doesn't give a f..k about your image, but they damn sure care about your character!